


They Know

by Phandabbydosey



Series: Deaf Dan Oneshots [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Basically people find out Dan is deaf before he's ready to tell them, Deaf, Deaf Character, Disability, Disabled Character, M/M, Sign Language, Unprepared Disability Outing, deaf!dan, liveshow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 05:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9369023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phandabbydosey/pseuds/Phandabbydosey
Summary: Based on this prompt - 'Can you do a fic where Dan is deaf and his subscribers don’t know. One day he accidentally uses sign language on a live show and has no choice but to come clean about his disability?'





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set pretty early in their YouTube career since the chances of Dan hiding hearing aids from four million people is pretty low
> 
> My tumblr is phandabbydosey if you would rather read this over there :D
> 
> Beta-ed by the lovely gatsbys-old-sport over on tumblr :D

Dan yawned widely as he shuffled out of his bedroom, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and blinking like an owl to try and see more clearly. He’d left his hearing aids in the living room when he went for his nap earlier, knowing Phil was in the flat so he could come wake him up if there was an emergency of any kind.

Dan was pretty much completely deaf without his hearing aids, he had been ever since he’d caught meningitis when he was very young. He wasn’t profoundly deaf in either ear, but his hearing was so poor that he’d still need his aids to understand someone who was shouting right beside him.

It didn’t bother him too much though, he could hear fine with his hearing aids and he and Phil were both fluent in sign language for the occasions when he wasn’t wearing them.

Though he’d been brought up to never be ashamed of his deafness, that it was part of who he was and not a disability, his experience in high school had really knocked his confidence about the whole thing. He’d been an outcast, laughed at because he needed little machines in his ears to hear properly.

Apparently, it was hilarious to slap him across the head so hard they started to let out a painfully high pitched whine, or to steal them off the bench when he was changing after P.E so he was forced to either get them back himself or try to communicate with the teachers who were clueless when it came it sign language. They thought it was comedy gold when Dan had to speak without his hearing aids in, the warped way he shaped his words being mocked and imitated whenever he spoke up in class or as he walked through the corridors.

So Dan had grown weary of telling people about his deafness, fearful he’d get a similar reaction to those cruel kids at school. He knew most people were mature and accepting, but couldn’t ignore that niggling thought that someone wouldn’t take it well and he’d have to go through all that suffering again.

None of the subscribers knew about Dan’s deafness. Dan knew how judgemental and downright cruel people could be when they had a computer to hide behind. He also knew a lot of people would be supportive and fine about it all but, because of that small minority of trolls and bullies, Dan was always careful to position his hair over his ears of wear one his many hats. He felt a little bad about hiding such a big part of his life from the people who watched him, but it was his life and ultimately up to him how much of it he shared.

Still clumsy with sleep, Dan bumbled into the living room, smiling when he saw Phil sitting on the sofa with is laptop. Dan was still too blurry to notice Phil’s mouth moving and couldn’t hear the words for obvious reasons. He dropped onto the sofa beside Phil and let his head fall onto his shoulder, his eyes closing almost straight away.

He felt Phil’s shoulders moving up and down as he chuckled, making Dan open his eyes to smile up at him. He frowned when he saw Phil’s lips moving, lifting his hands and starting to sign.

‘I haven’t got my hearing aids in. You need to sign.’

Dan’s expression shifted to one of confusion when Phil’s eyes widened, the blue irises flicking worriedly to the laptop screen. Dan’s gaze followed and he let out a squeak, launching off the sofa away from the webcam.

But it was already too late, the four thousand strong audience of Phil’s live show had already seen him sign to Phil. Someone would recognise it, someone would point it out and Dan knew from experience just how quickly news spread across the internet. When he and Phil came out as a couple, it seemed to take less than a few hours for the entirety of tumblr to be plastered with gifs and screenshots. He’d found it kind of endearing how excited they were, actually.

But this, he didn’t want this to spread like a fire through a drought ridden grassland. He wanted it to be buried deep beneath the earth.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around him and tears started to run down his cheeks as he leant into Phil’s arms. He didn’t object as Phil carefully pushed a hearing aid into his left ear and switched it on, knowing it would make it easier to communicate if he could hear.

“They know, they know,” he whimpered once he heard the world crackle to life, Phil’s soothing words making their way through the little device and into his brain.

“Not neccesseril-

“They will Phil! Someone will recognise that it was sign language and they might even know what I said and-and they’ll tell other people and everyone will know!” Dan’s breathing picked up pace as he spoke, becoming more jagged as he edged closer and closer to hysterics.

“Shhh, Dan. You need to calm down,” Phil cooed, pulling back from the hug a little and cupping Dan’s face, forcing Dan to look into his eyes, “Deep breaths, c’mon. Follow me.”

Dan swallowed thickly and forced himself to follow Phil’s breathing, his own eventually evening out and the cascade of tears slowing to a trickle.

“There we go,” Phil whispered, kissing Dan’s forehead and pulling him back over to sit on the sofa. He’d ended the live show as soon as his mind caught up with what had happened, but he knew everyone had seen the sign language. He knew his and Dan’s mentions and ask boxes would both be flooded already, and he made a mental note to keep Dan away from social media until this was sorted.

“Okay, so there’s no denying that people are going to work out something is up,” Phil said calmly, his arms wrapped around Dan as the younger boy lay between his legs. He felt Dan stiffen slightly and leant over to kiss the side of his head, keeping him placid, “But there’s no use getting worked up over it because there’s nothing we do to change what happened. We need to decide what to do next.” Phil paused for a moment, thinking through their options, “We could just tell them the truth, make a video explaining it all and just come clean. Or we could make something up, say that you’re learning sign language for some reason and were just practising. Though if anyone can recognise sign then that’s not going to work.”

“I honestly think we don’t have any choice but to come clean,” Dan sighed deeply, his body slumping back into Phil’s, “People will work out eventually if we lie and it’ll just make things worse.”

“We don’t have to tell them everything,” Phil suggested, knowing how Dan felt about the fans knowing he was deaf, “We could just make a text post saying, ‘Hey! Dan’s deaf but it’s really a private matter so we’d appreciate if you left it be.’”

“No, they’d still flood me with questions and then I’d end up snapping and upsetting people,” Dan groaned, lifting his hands to cover his face as he let out another heavy exhale, “It’ll be better if I explain it all properly. I guess it’s about time I stopped being such a baby about telling people anyway.”

“Dan, you’re not being baby,” Phil murmured, leaning around to kiss Dan’s cheek and giving him a little reassuring squeeze, “Your reasons for not telling people are perfectly valid. If people had treated me the way they treated you, I’d want to avoid that at all costs too. Don’t let

yourself be pressured into telling them something before you’re comfortable with it.”

“I love you so much,” Dan whispered, turning his head and resting it on Phil’s shoulders so he could look him in they eyes properly, “But I do think I should just come completely clean. It’ll make everything a lot easier and, if people do end up being dickish about it, then at least I have you here to make me feel better.”

 

—————————————

 

“I don’t know if this is a good idea Phil, what if people hate me and think I’m weird,” Dan ran a hand through his hair. He was sat on his bed while Phil set up his camera and lighting, his hastily written up script held in his hand.

“We’ve already talked about this Dan, we decided it was the best thing to do,” Phil said, taking his place on the bed beside Dan and smoothing down his mussed up brown hair, “You’re just nervous and you don’t need to be. It’ll all be fine.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right,” Dan took a deep breath and looked into the camera, the red light blinking, “Okay, let’s do this.”

Dan smiled at the camera and performed his usual salute, then held his hands up and began to sign. He’d wanted to do this in sign and subtitle it afterwards; he wasn’t sure why but it just felt like what he should do.

‘Hello internet,’ he signed, his hands moving fluently just in front of his chest, ‘This might seem a little weird to most of you, but I guess it seemed like the most appropriate way to do this. As some as you may have worked out after what happened in Phil’s live show, I am deaf. I have been since I was very little, but I have hearing aids that mean I can hear just fine.’ Dan paused his signing to push his hair back from his ears, exposing the two little pieces of plastic that wrapped around his ears and disappeared inside them, ‘I kept it a secret because I had some very bad experiences during school which I won’t go into detail about. Other than that, I’m going to be completely open.’

Dan paused for a moment and looked over at Phil, who smiled. “You’re doing great,” he whispered, slipping his hand into Dan’s and giving it a squeeze, “Keep going.”

Dan nodded and shuffled a bit closer to Phil when he lifted his hand away from Phil’s, wanting to support of feeling Phil beside him.

‘I had meningitis when I was six and it caused almost complete hearing loss in both of my ears. I can hear a tiny tiny bit, but it may as well not be there at all. I learnt sign language and, after a couple years, I got these hearing aids and I’ve had them ever since. So I can hear perfectly fine, which I guess is another reason I kept it secret. There was no need to tell people, so I didn’t.’

Dan shrugged and turned to look at Phil, silently asking if he had anything to add. He wasn’t sure how much of this he’d keep in, but it would be better to have too much filmed and edit it down than not have enough.

‘We want you all to know that you don’t need to treat Dan any differently now,’ Phil signed, ‘He’s still exactly the same as he was before we told you about his deafness. Don’t be a twat like me and start shouting whenever you speak to him.’

Dan sniggered as he watched Phil’s hands, looking into the camera and nodding to confirm that Phil really had done that, ‘It took him a few months to realise that I could either hear fine or not at all. Shouting doesn’t make any difference.’

Dan and Phil spent a little longer explaining things and sharing some of their many anecdotes that revolved around Dan’s deafness. They’d never talked about these stories with the internet before for obvious reasons and, although they’d both lived through these situations first hand, they found themselves in hysterics while they signed.

Eventually, they came to the end of the video and Dan made a comment about finally cutting his hair above his ears before he saluted, smiling widely at the camera before standing up to turn it off.

He was still scared and nervous about the reaction his ‘news’ would get, but he was confident that it was the right thing to do. Phil was there for him and would stand up for him; Dan wouldn’t put it past him to send very angry messages out to anyone who upset Dan or judged him because of his deafness.

Things would be alright and Dan could finally be himself for his subscribers, no more hiding or carefully positioning his hair before every video or being the weirdo who always wore a hat to meetups. He could finally be just Dan.

 


End file.
